Hello new followers!
Just to let y’all know - I’m actually truly horrible person, I post just about everything and anything and I don’t warn for gifs.
*peers* Wow, my followers are a fucking attractive lot, aren’t you?
March 2012
15 posts
Epic Rap Battles of Non-Rap, Non-History
- For the purposes of this transcript, Sonja is me, and I am a ninja. Rachelle is a robot with a mime fetish. And Mandi is...Mandi.
- Rach: MIMES WILL CRUSH YOU WITH INVISIBLE PIANOS.
- Sonja: EXCUSE ME, THEY WOULD STEAL YOUR BRAIN IF YOU HAD ONE INSTEAD OF THAT POSITRONIC CROCKPOT YOU CALL A FUNCTIONAL SYNAPSE NETWORK
- Rach: AND ROBOTS WILL USE YOUR EMPTY SKULLS AS WINEGLASSES FOR THEIR OIL MARTINIS.
- Mandi: BRAIIIIINNNNNSSSS
- Mandi: YOU GUYS ARE TURNING ME ON WITH YOUR BRAIN TALK
- Sonja: NOT NOW MANDI'S LOINS, ROBOTS AND NINJAS ARE TALKING.
- Rach: AND ROBOTS WILL HAVE MORE CHOMPY CRUSHY THINGS *ABOVE* THE CHOMPY CRUSHY THINGS. IT'LL BE UNENDING LEVELS OF CHOMPY CRUSHY THINGS UNTIL YOU *DIE*!
- Rach: AND ROBOTS ADD YOU TO THE LIST OF THE FIRST TO BE EXTERMINATED, MEATBAG
- Sonja: THANKS, TIN CAN, WE'D CONSIDER IT A COMPLIMENT TO BE ON YOUR KILL LIST IF WE THOUGHT YOU COMPETENT AT ALL
- Mandi: *NOMS ON MIME BRAIN*
- Rach: I HOPE THE WIRES YOU USE TO LEAP FROM BUILDING TO BUILDING SNAP
- Rach: CROUCHING TIGER, HIDDEN DEATH TRAP
- Sonja: I HOPE YOU GET CAUGHT IN A HEAVY THUNDERSTORM IN AN OPEN FIELD
- Rachel: I'M WATERPROOF, SO SUCK IT
- Sonja: NOTHING TO SUCK, UNLESS I WANT TO FEEL LIKE I'M AT THE DENTIST WITH THE LITTLE METAL PRICK IN MY MOUTH
- Rach: DO YOU STAY SILENT WHEN YOU'RE BEING TORTURED? I GUESS WE'LL FIND OUT SOON
- Rach: MIMES DON'T BREAK. NINJAS WILL.
- Rach: I HOPE YOU HAVE TO GO ROGUE AND STAR IN A TERRIBLE BUDDY COMEDY WITH OWEN WILSON
- Sonja: I HOPE YOU TURN INTO A ROBOTIC ROBIN WILLIAMS
- Sonja: YOUR MOTHER WAS A VIBRATOR AND YOUR FATHER WAS A PINTO
- Rach: YOUR FATHER WAS A MONGOL WARLORD WHO WAS CRUSHED BY AN INFERIOR ARMY
- Rach: THEY HAD LIKE FIVE PEOPLE AND PITCHFORKS AND THEY STILL BEAT HIM
- Sonja: MY DADDY DENTED YOUR DADDY IN THE HEAD
- Rach: YOUR DADDY HAD A BROKEN HAND FOR MONTHS
- Mandi: I ATE YOUR DADDY
- Mandi: WITH A LITTLE CHIANTI
- Sonja: YOUR DADDY STILL THINKS ELECTRICAL BLANKETS ARE CONSORTING WITH THE ENEMY, BUT THEY'RE JUST GETTING WHAT THEY CAN'T GET FROM THEIR OWN KIND
- Rach: YOUR DADDY THINKS TINY BLACK MASKS SUCCESSFULLY HIDES HIS IDENTITY
- Rach: YOUR DADDY ALSO THINKS THAT TAP SHOES ARE EFFECTIVE FOR PROPER LEVELS OF SNEAKINESS
- Sonja: YOUR DADDY OUGHT TO INVEST IN A MASK. IT MIGHT SUCCEED IN HIDING HIS MADE-BY-TONKA FACE.
- Rach: YOUR DADDY OUGHT TO RETURN YOUR MOTHER TO HER KINGDOM. MAYBE SHE'LL GET THE PROPER CARE SHE NEEDS AND OVERCOME HER STOCKHOLM SYNDROME.
- Sonja: YOUR DADDY'S RESPONSIBLE FOR "CYBERWOMAN"
- Rach: YOUR DADDY IS RESPONSIBLE FOR EVERY BLACKSPLOITATION NINJA MOVIE IN EXISTENCE.
- Sonja: YOUR DADDY CAN'T BE RETURNED ANYWHERE. HE STOP BEING PRODUCED IN THE '60S DUE TO INFERIOR PARTS.
- Sonja: YOUR DADDY IS RESPONSIBLE FOR MEET DAVE.
- Rach: YOUR DADDY WILL FOREVER LIVE IN BRUCE LEE'S SHADOW
- Rach: AND CHUCK NORRIS
- Sonja: YOUR DADDY REACHED HIS PEAK IN THE 1920S, AND HASN'T IMPROVED UPON IT SENSE.
- Rach: YOUR DADDY IS STILL UPSET THAT JACKIE CHAN BEAT HIM FOR THE LEAD ROLE IN "SHANGHAI KNIGHTS"
- Mandi: YOUR DADDY LIKES THE SUNLIGHT AND YOUR DADDY HAS A FETISH FOR SEAWATER.
- Rach: YOUR DADDY LIVES IN A CAVE AND HASN'T SEEN SUNLIGHT IN YEARS
- Sonja: YOUR DADDY NEEDS HIS ANTENNA TWEAKED JUST TO UNDERSTAND SPANISH
- Mandi: WE WILL TAKE THIS BEACH AND YOUR PANTS WHILE YELLING ABOUT GIINGER LOVE AT THE TOP OF OUR LUNGS
